About Me

Inspired by a recent post a friend made over on his blog I thought I would make one too.  I've had an 'About Me' post on this blog before but it was quite generic and it wasn't very revealing as to who I really am, so this post I hope will be a lot more intimate.

This will probably be the most heartfelt blog post I have wrote to date. 

I am an emotional person, and that emotion spans the entire rainbow from joy and elation to sadness and despair.  For the most part I like to think I can control this emotion but I would be lying if I said that was true.  I like to think a lot of things and sadly the things I think are not always true.

I've said before on this blog my writing style here is a lot more formal to the way I speak, the way I speak I try to be clear but I often descend into head spins unable to express myself because when any emotion takes over the thought process stops and the words escape me.

I am not perfect.  As a child I was an outsider for many reasons and in that time knowledge was my aspiration I sought to outsmart the people who excluded me.  I wanted to know everything but as I have grown this aspiration has lessened and my desire to know everything isn't as strong but I am still incredibly curious.  I know a lot about random things, academics and many things one would consider geeky, but my knowledge of life is limited.  There is so so much I don't know.

My thirst for knowledge is still one of my greatest strengths and at the same time my greatest weakness.  I know so much about my friends, - I try to know everything I can so that I can understand them.  I do not mean understand in terms of speaking or in terms of actions I mean understanding on a deeper level, to understand the person they are, how they became that person and who or what they want to become.

I am friendly, I am affectionate and I don't judge.  I have been stupid, oh so stupid in my life.  I have seen, said and done things that years later I still look back on and think to myself "what the fuck were you thinking!" - and yes I occasionally swear.  I over analyse things, I think too much, I scrutinise every detail in my mind but still of all I can say and do things without thinking that often prove to be the stupidest things I have ever done - but that's not going to change any time soon, because although that mentality has lead me to many stupid places it has also lead me to some of the greatest, happiest and most triumphant places in my life.

Another fact about me, I sometimes over react.  I wrote this post a few hours ago and since then I have slept and woke up and I now feel overwhelmingly positive again and reading back at this post I can not grasp the mentality I had when I wrote it, I thought about deleting it but I decided not to.  I think it will only serve to reiterate the fact that my emotions sometimes get the better of me?  And that I use writing, dancing, drawing and Music as forms of expression.  On that note I can't get this out of my head:

Added for your enjoyment as I think these posts need something more than just writing.