Our Bubbles

What can I say to catch your eye?  I could list all the Artists and Musicians I like, I could list the Movies I love and so on but what would that really tell you about me?  It would tell you what I like, but a visit to any website on the Internet will show you what people like.  You can see countless pages of videos on Youtube of things people like, you can see endless pages on facebook of things people "like" but what does it really tell you about the person?


You and I could have a lot in common, all of the above for each of us could be perfectly overlapped, everything you like and everything I like equal, but does that mean we would get along?  Can you honestly say every one of your friends like everything you do?  The statement is laughable at best, because we are all different.  There will inevitably be things we don't like that our friends do, does that mean we stop being friends with them?  Well if it did it would probably cast us in quite a shallow light.  I admit there are certain interests which can tear friendships apart but for the most part, having different interests shouldn't mean that you can't get along.

If I listed my interests and they were to overlap yours, would you feel an affinity with me?  Would it motivate you to attempt to form a friendship with me?  What if I listed my interests and you did not like any at all?  Would that deter you from taking the same course of action?  If opposites do attract and if we are ever to break out of our bubbles of segregation we shouldn't use commonalities as a deciding factor in whether or not we want to form a friendship with someone.

In most cases people use commonalities to form friendships for one reason, it is a talking point.  Something to start a conversation about with the other person.  Commonalities are often brought up out of circumstance and situation, more so when the other person is a complete stranger.  Examples being, when starting a new job people often talk about their jobs and the company when getting to know their colleagues.  Or perhaps starting University, students get to know one another asking the bog-standard questions, what course, what subject, why did they choose it etc.  Leave those situations and environments and venture online and the potential topics shift. 

As far as dating sites are concerned among other sites intended to form some level of connection between strangers, the common environment becomes incredibly limited, at its simplest point the only commonality is that both people are using the same site.  That leads you to read profiles, hoping their profile lists something for you to pick out or something that makes you smile or hooks you in, to the point where you want to stop reading and start talking.

It is hard to sum up a person and their being.  We are so much more than text, we are so much more than Music and Movies, Hair colour, Eye colour, Body Type and the endless list of 'stats' these websites like us to list.  Think now of your closest friends and how you met them, think of when you first spoke and of what you knew about them before you did. 

We form friendships by getting to know one another.  We form friendships by talking to one another and finding out our interests, what we share and what we don't, and in some cases learning new things about others interests, things you probably never thought about but may actually find interesting.  The Internet and dating websites and social networks are killing our ability to form friendships with people who don't share our interests.  We judge before we get to know them whether we would like them, based on whether or not they like what we like.  We are breeding segregation.