The Way You Think

There are many things I have learned in life.  Both through my own experience and through the experience of others.  If you have ever had the pleasure of meeting me or at least getting to know me then there's one thing about me that you will have learned and that is that I am a great listener.  There are many reasons for this but the root of this behaviour comes from my desire to learn.

When I was young I wanted to know everything there was to know about everything.  As I grew I came to realise that learning everything about everything would be nigh impossible to achieve so my focus changed to learn everything there was to know about a few things in which I take the greatest interest.

I have long standing interests in computing and psychology - the former since 5 years old when I first learned to program and the latter since my teenage years when I was socially reclusive and watched everyone around me trying to figure out what made them tick.  In both cases I have sought to further my knowledge, in the case of psychology this has been largely self taught partly through books and online reference but the majority of my knowledge comes from real world experience.  I have listened.

I have listened to many friends and family members and yes even complete strangers.  The former interest me as I can follow up and gather more feedback over time and take on board what the say.  Make no mistake, if I ask you how you feel it is because I genuinely want to know.   Strangers are a little more complex, not least because you have to begin with a generic template and develop in a short time a persona that matches theirs.  You do have to ask questions but you also have to observe the person because a person will tell you so much more without saying a word.  I have had complete strangers start conversations with me, on a bus, in a post office, in a supermarket and once or twice in the middle of the street where the tell me all sorts of problems.  I have had someone tell me they thought their marriage was going to break up, I have had someone tell me they were in debt up to their eyeballs and even how much their mortgage repayments were.  The point I am trying to make is that above all else there is one thing I feel people give me more than anything and that is honesty.

The point of this long winded post was to say that I have learned something from all this experience and this is drawn as I said from friends family and strangers and even my own personal life experience.  I have learned that you can't change the way you think.  You can change what you think about but you can't change the way you think about it.  Now I know there will be people who will argue against me here and you are entitled to do so, I will even hear you out and take on board what you say if you think differently about this.  The principle theory I have though is that you can't change the way you think and that you shouldn't try.

If you are inclined to look on the positive side of a situation then you will always be inclined to do so.  If you are inclined to look on the negative side again you will always be inclined to do so.  I believe it is futile to try and change this I think what you need to do instead is learn to accept who you are and learn not to let it control your life or to consume you.  You may not be able to change the way you think but you can change what you think about.

Unfortunately everything I have just wrote will fall on deaf ears as far as those it applies to are concerned because what I have written is part of a learning process something that has to be experienced first hand to be accepted.  If you have read this post and accept what it says and agree it's not because of any epiphany or sudden realisation of universal truth it is simply because you had already accepted this through your own experience before you ever read this post.