Apologies in advance if any of this posts sounds angry and or venomous but I am quite agitated at the moment and I have a few things I want to say.
I have said before in other posts revolving around Psychology and in particular confidence, that we as individuals present a shell to the world - a projection of a personality that we want others to perceive. Inside that shell the reality is usually quite different and you see the person inside, for what they really are.
One of my favourite music tracks is by DJ Encore feat. Engeline 'I See Right Through To You' - the reason it is my favourite is because I pride myself on not buying into the projections of others. I usually ignore first impressions [except those made by people who aren't trying to make a "first impression"] - in other words I ignore what people try and convince me they are like, then later judge for myself who or what they really are. To date this has stood by me well as there are a few people I regard as good friends who have said their weakness is that they do not make the right first impression.
While I pride myself on this ability I am still Human, I still make mistakes and errors in judgements - I can still be wrong and I have been with one or two individuals I have met. Putting this aside though, there are points we reach in what we choose to share with people. Even I have these points and there are a number of individuals I have set points for - in practice what this means is that I have observed behaviours of one or two people I know and in my mind I know what they are really like. I am not a fool and they are not fooling anyone with the projections they make, but I haw never let this be known. In other words there is a point with everyone at which I stop being open with how I really feel about them.
The problem with these points that we create comes when the point I make for you and the one you make for me are not equal or synchronised if you will. This is a problem as it invariably means that one person is more open than the other, the latter in this case can be seen to be holding back or deceiving the former if the two have agreed to be open with each other. In other words if two people agree not to hold back, then what is expected is exactly that, that nothing should be held back - if it is, then you are creating a Deception Point if you do not openly admit that there are things that you are holding back or things that you would just rather not talk about.
The remedy or the resolution to all of this is to deliver exactly what you committed to - openness - there will be no deception if you simply admit that there are things you would not like to talk about, any good friend, myself included would respect that boundary. All my friends know that there are certain things I don't talk about and they know that pushing me on those things is a bad idea and the shortest route to ending a friendship,
The only other thing I have to add to this post is this: if I have not already told you, exactly what I think of you, I think you would be very surprised by what I really think.
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