My Year Of The Dragon

So Chinese New Year came a few days ago and with it the Year Of The Dragon came to an end.  As a Dragon baby I had been looking forward to 2012 as a chance to make changes and hope for new things - well in many respects I got what I hoped for but things didn't pan out the way I expected.  This post is in a way my year in review.

Last February I was in a different place emotionally than I am now, back then I felt quite alone, despite having people around me it didn't make much difference to me.  I felt trapped and while I still do to an extent it's not as imposing as it was back then.  I've made a few changes in the last year to my life one of which was to scrap all social networks.  I left twitter - twice actually, yea that was complicated - and I left facebook, and I left a few online forums I was a member of and I even scrapped this blog.  For a while it was taken down completely.  I had a change of heart where the blog was concerned and restored it, and on twitter, I gave it another chance - although a recent post highlighted the fact I still wasn't completely comfortable keeping it.  It's staying for now, but I'm still in two minds.

Scrapping social networks proved effective for me as it cut out a lot of people who were "in" my life but weren't part of it; by that I mean they would be involved in it, inevitably ask questions or judge me for what I had or had not done and that was annoying for me.  I value my privacy and I value having the freedom to make my own decisions without having to explain myself every step of the way.  Social networks, facebook in particular in this respect I found quite invasive.  Since scrapping them however I have spoken to people a lot more, people who I wanted to keep in my life.  If anything scrapping "social" networks made me less anti-social.

I volunteered working for a charity.  I worked there for a few months, the work was fulfilling, it was a pretty easy job and I was happy doing it.  If anything had it been paid I would have done it as a real job.  The charity work eventually ended when I was offered a job in a different company that in hindsight I shouldn't have taken.  That job didn't work out well in the end and was nothing it promised to be, nevertheless it taught me a lesson that I needed to learn - as difficult as it was at the time to accept. 

After that job didn't work out I got quite depressed and found myself thrown back to the same place I was last February.  It took a while for that to ease off.  During that time though I had a number of arguments with people that resulted in me leaving yet more people behind and out of my life.  The only pick-me-up from last year was the Christmas season.  Normally I am quite active, and contribute a lot, as I love to cook, and there's nothing I love more than Christmas.  As I have said before Christmas to me and my family has pretty much lost all Religious significance, it's more a tradition now, and one that I will continue for years to come.  To me it's about togetherness, being surrounded by the people you love and people who love you.

2012 had a lot of ups and downs, the highest point for me ironically was the point I got the job that didn't work out, I had left my CV in that morning, and as I was on my way to the charity job, not even to the end of the street I got a phone-call asking me to come for an interview that day.  I went for the interview, and it was a few days later I was offered the job.  I guess that they had asked for an interview so quickly, and that they had replied so quickly after the interview should have made me think "Why?" - in hindsight things always look obvious.

The low point of 2012 probably wasn't the depression but actually when I got Tonsillitis, I don't like tablets in the slightest, I avoid Doctors usually and if I am ever sick I usually want to "ride it out" but that wasn't really an option.  I wrote a post shortly after professing my love for the NHS'

So I guess 2012 was filled with ups and downs, quite possibly more down than up.  As for my Year Of The Dragon, that was bumpy right to the bitter end, with January smacking me in the face with a bill for the better part of a grand - not so happy days.  So here we are now, Year Of The Snake.  Will it be any better? 

Oh and if you find the idea of the Chinese zodiac somewhat laughable or the idea of astrology in general laughable I have only one question for you really:  Have you ever made a New Year's resolution, if so how is it any different, what's so special about Dec 31st/Jan 1st that makes you question life set goals or reassess the year that just passed?

After all that if you would like a pick-me-up post then try last year's single on Valentine's Day post.