Frustration

I am a cynical person.  I admit that openly.  I am the person I have become through the experiences I have had in life.  Increasingly I am feeling the bitter taste of rejection.  I did get down over it but that was short lived, the sadness has been replaced with anger, not borne of rage but borne of the animosity for those that think they know what is best for you.

I am 25 years old and I think it is incredibly patronising to think you can judge 25 years of experience in 15 minutes.  I also think it is insulting when people tell you that you are "the perfect candidate" and then reject you anyway.  "There was nothing more you could have done, we've just gone with someone else" - actual feedback I received on an interview. 

Paranoia is a sickly thing, more so when that paranoia is based on assumptions you have no way of proving or disproving.

I am gay - I do not know how obvious that is to other people who meet me, I have no way of knowing as everyone I know, knows I am gay so their responses are biased.

I have a disability - I know this one at least is visible when you meet me.

I am a man - something we in the western world like to be told is an advantage in gaining employment and that its harder for women to get a job, I honestly don't know how true that is though.

I am young - this is obvious and there's nothing I can do about it, I can't grow old quicker.

There are 4 points about me, some obvious some maybe not so - they often play on my mind as reasons for rejection - the trouble is if one or more of those reasons were the motivation behind your rejection, it's very hard to prove.

I went for an interview at a company which shall remain nameless for legal reasons, but everyone that worked for it that I came into contact was a woman.  They are the company that gave the feedback that there was nothing I could have done better - feedback I had to chase the company to provide I might add.  Feedback which in the process of chasing every contact I was passed on to was a woman.  Was I turned down because I am a man?  I don't know - could I prove it if it was the case?  No probably not.

I went for another interview some time ago with a different company who I believe rejected me because of my disability.  I had to chase them for feedback too not just on the initial interview but on the recruitment process I made it through.  In the end the feedback they gave was the same as the company above, that there was nothing more I could have done and nothing negative they had to say.  I am convinced that my disability was the reason I was rejected.  How do I prove that?  I can't.

I went for another interview with another different company, this one was 2 days ago.  I received a rejection today and received feedback which was tantamount to "you would be wasted in this company, you can do better" - that right there is perhaps the most infuriating response I have had to date - someone that knows and recognises the barriers that you face but then turns around and raises the same barriers.  I'm not getting any younger, and when a company won't even accept you for an entry level position it really is frustrating, so frustrating.