Before you speak

Sometimes the most interesting things we have to say are the things that we never say at all.  I have written tweets, texts, and posts on here that I have thought about before sending or posting and deleted.  It's the digital equivalent of opening your mouth to say something sometimes even letting the first or second word out before stopping and thinking actually I better not.

The reasons we don't say what we are thinking however are varied.  Sometimes it's the feeling that we will be judged for what we are thinking and it's just easier to keep it to yourself.  At other times we know what we want to say is something that the majority of people are going to disagree with to the point where we feel like we will be attacked, not just judged for what we say.

There are however the times when we don't say what we are thinking because we feel like no-one would be interested or that no-one would understand.  These are the most interesting because the judgement we have for ourselves is often harsher than anything we ever direct at other people.  We deny ourselves the possibility of finding someone out there who might share our views or at least understand how we feel.  If we say what we are thinking and no-one is interested there is no real "penalty" for doing so.  There's not really anything to lose.  That doesn't stop us second guessing ourselves though.

Over-thinking is a problem that many people share.  While some people have the opposite - where they say anything without thinking and have no filter whatsoever.  Arguably each has its advantages and disadvantages.  I'd personally say I envy those that can just say anything, if I did that I would never shut up due to the fact that I am always thinking and find it hard to switch off at all.  I have seen the down side to having no filter and the trouble it can cause for people.  The real question is, how do you find a balance between the two?