Being Yourself

They say imitation is the highest form of flattery.  For me it's the lowest form of creativity and a lack of individuality.  Whilst I don't think this inherently an LGBT issue but rather an issue of confidence in general, I do think that there are prominent examples within the LGBT community.  I have seen gay men go from being in the closet and having one personality, who then come out and transform into a completely different personality.  Now on the face of it there's nothing wrong with that but the personality that results in the end is generic.  I have seen this happen countless times and the reason I believe is due to self confidence - or rather the lack of it.

There is a stereotypical Gay persona that embodies a particular camp accent, over the top hand gestures, a "mince" walk, and a bitchy attitude.  For some people this is genuinely their personality and I am not aiming this at them.  I am aiming this at the people who take that persona and use it to express themselves.  To me, this is incredibly fake.  It's polished, it's air brushed and air headed.  I know this personality is not "real" for most of the people who use it.  I know this because that shit don't fly with me and when they are around me they act themselves.  One person even explicitly said "You gotta fake it til you make it honey"

I hate this in so many ways.  It's not creative - you're turning yourself into a generic copy of a stereotype for the sense that you fit in and a sense of confidence.  It's not individual - the latest trends and fashions spread like diseases among these groups, accelerated by the fact that these groups are by nature very insular.  They are easily led.  To the point where there are one or two "Kingpins" or in the case of the camp gay stereotype, one or two Queens who set the fashion for these groups.  You can hear it in the spread of language used, one Queen uses a new slang term and it spreads among the group until practically everyone is using it.  There's no sense of achievement being truly earned here, and ultimately how far you will get will be limited by how "high" up the hierarchy of the group you can climb.

The reason I hate this so much is because I want to get to know the real you.  I don't want to get to know a projected personality you show the world.  I'm usually quite good at seeing through this and that is not limited to the example I gave above.  You can try and "fake it until you make it" but at the end of the day to everyone else who doesn't succumb to this herd mentality, your falseness is transparent.  You are only "adored" by these people so long as you are funny and you are entertaining.  As with anything of that nature however the novely wears off.  Emotional and long lasting connections with people are established through empathy and understanding.  If you constantly project a fake personality to the world then you should not be surprised when you find out that people don't like "you" they liked the "idea of you".

If you are a singer and you only do covers, you won't last long.  People will like you if you are good, and if you sing songs that they know and love and most importantly they are familiar with.  That establishes a foundation.  If you want to last in your career you need to show your own talent and creativity and start singing new and original songs.  Getting people to buy into this is a lot harder but ultimately it provides greater security and establishes a connection.  If you only ever sing covers, you will always be compared to the original, and there will always be others who are doing the same thing and competing with you.  No-one can compete with you at being yourself.