What do acorns have to do with trust?

We are not all capable of the same things and our achievements reflect that.  The significance of our achievements are not always the same.  For someone who has struggled with anorexia all their life, to sit and eat a three course meal is an achievement of note.  For someone who has never had these problems the same action is not an achievement of note.

There is an argument that says you should not feel sad or unhappy when things go wrong because there will always be someone who has it worse than you.  There is a retort that became part of a meme that says the logic in that argument is flawed; by the same logic you should never be happy because there will always be someone who has it better than you.  I think both the original argument and the retort are fundamentally flawed as they both overlook a key emotion - jealousy.

At first it can seem strange to propose that when sad or unhappy you would be jealous of someone who had it worse than you but while you probably won't be jealous of their situation you will however be jealous of the fact that your circumstances when placed into context are reduced in comparison and your feelings essentially stripped of validity.  In that scenario you would be jealous that your feelings are dismissed and wish they were given the same weight as the person who has it worse than you.  Thereby resulting in you being jealous of them.

In the same way when you find happiness in you're life and your achievements, only to have them compared to someone who is better off than you, there is jealousy to be found when your feelings are again stripped of validity when put into context.  You end up wishing your achievements were given the same weight.

While the idea of context is important the idea of individuality must not be forgotten.  What is a big deal to you might not be a big deal to others and vice versa, what is not a big deal to you might be a big deal to others.  This is the thought process you have to follow when you deal with the concept of trust.

I have some pretty big trust issues and there are many reasons for them.  Those reasons in the grand scheme of things should not be that important to you at first, instead knowing only that they mean a lot to me should suffice.  You should be patient and should I actually confide in you the whole story the last thing you should do is reduce what has been shared even if you then think that the issues that stem as an effect from the original cause are not proportionate.  As the saying goes even the most mighty oak tree had to grow from a single acorn.  In many ways that is how our thought patterns grow.  An idea once planted takes root and with time it grows into a mighty oak - cutting down that idea and removing its effects is not as easy as removing the acorn - once the tree has already grown that is no longer possible.

There are people who have been through a lot worse than I ever have and to use our analogy above as opposed to the one oak tree I would battle with, they have entire forests of them.  I hope never to be able to comprehend that fully.  Their trauma however should not invalidate the feelings of myself or anyone else.  Yes they have gone through worse, yes they have a lot more to contend with, and yes arguably they need a lot more help but that single tree still stands and has not faltered.  Your problems do not magically disappear when someone else comes along who has more of them than you.

So do not forget individuality.  What might not seem like a big deal to you can mean the world to someone else.  When someone with trust issues opens up to you and shares the root cause, remember that where they are now and what has grown from it will always outweigh the initial cause.