Are you interested?

Ask yourself two questions:  Do you think people find you interesting?  Do you want them to?  If you stick to yes and no answers there are 4 possible outcomes to these two questions. 

The first two, if people do find you interesting are the scenarios where you want them to and where you don't.  If you want them to then you get the attention you desire, but if you don't then that amounts to unwanted attention.

The second two, if people don't find you interesting are the scenarios where you want them to and where you don't.  If you want them to then that makes you an attention seeker, and if you don't want them to then you are happy in obscurity.

For me personally I think I move between the four quite a lot.  Maybe that's the same for everyone maybe not.  There are times when you want people to pay attention to what you are doing, but there are times when that's the last thing you want.  The irony here is that it is often the reverse that is true, when we don't want anyone to pay attention to us we find ourselves with people paying the most, and vice versa.  You could dismiss this as wanting what we can't have and say the only reason we don't want attention when we have it is because we want what we can't have but that completely dismisses the idea that you can be happy with what you have.

For businesses and people trying to succeed in a given field, arguably attention seeking is an entire career in and of itself.  I guess to that extent if you want to succeed in marketing then you need an attention seeker, or someone famous who already has attention to promote your brand.

The thing is, finding attention is easy if you know what you want people to pay attention to; in our marketing example if you want people to pay attention to a product then you need to know as much about the product and the intended target audience as you can to make it easier to market to them.  What does that mean for individuals however?  If an individual wants attention they will usually seek it from anyone at all or from one person in particular.  If you apply the same logic as you do with marketing then that would be wasted effort, as you are ignoring the question of whether or not the target is part of the target audience and would be interested at all to begin with.

Interest is something that is easier to pique if you know what a person is interested in, and then find a way to incorporate that into your product or whatever you are trying to sell.  The goto interest in this respect is often sex, because as we all know, sex sells.  That mantra from marketing has become so ambient that even if you have no interest in marketing whatsoever you will still have heard the phrase.  When you think about that however you begin to come to the realisation that the reason apps like Grindr and Scruff etc exist in the gay community and in the dating world as a whole [even Tinder et al in the straight dating world] is because people are led to believe that if they want to pique someone's interest in them the best way to do it is through sex.  In other words you have nothing else to offer, or feel like you have nothing else to offer than sex.

Confidence is a major turn on and the confidence to say you like something and be passionate about it is something that shows you are not one dimensional.  When you look at the empty world of apps like this you see that people are literally trying to fill a void in themselves.  The idea that if you are absolutely amazing in the sack some guy will want to have a relationship is incredibly naive.  You can't have sex every second of your relationship, sooner or later you are going to have to spend time together and actually get to know each other and find out if it would ever work between the two of you.  The cart seems to have been put before the horse, the "easier" people become the less interest there is in actually getting to know each other and the more interest there is in finding someone to fuck.  The reason that is dangerous is because it leads to disinterest in anything else, to the point where an actual relationship becomes impossible for you to have.

Apps like Grindr are designed for sex.  Nothing more.  If your interest in someone is purely sexual then that's all you will ever get from them, sex, nothing more.