He's not Gay he's married

Within the LGBT community from the outside you would be forgiven for thinking there is unity and that our community is concrete without cracks.  The truth is there is a helluva lot of division within the LGBT community and internal conflict.

To begin with there's the name "LGBT" and those that argue for it to be shortened or lengthened.  Those that advocate shortening take the point that Trans issues are a matter of gender and identity not a matter of sexuality and think the community should incorporate LGB people only.  Historically the T community in itself was included as those within it experience much of the same discrimination as LGB people with the same outward hostility.  As more rights are won for LGB people the division is accentuated, as Trans issues linger on unresolved there are those in the LGB community who are less willing to support the T community in return for the support they were given in the past.

Those that advocate the expansion to LGBTQ or LGBTI+, or any other addendum, argue that many other smaller communities should be incorporated into one whole.  These smaller communities cover those who are Asexual, or Intersex, or who have no specific label choosing to identiy simply as Queer.

Side note, the word Queer in itself has been embraced by many within the LGBT community as a term of unity, an umbrella, catch-all term.  As for the derogatory connotations those only exist in how the word is used not in the word itself due to the empowerment movement.

Even within the LGB communities there is division.  On the outside it is easy for many people who have no real exposure to theese communities to label all gay men as effeminate and think that they would be very close to women in general and that there would be little conflict.  This is far from the truth however.  Misogyny is rife in the gay communities.  There are large swathes of Gay men who are very misogynistic and have a very low opinion of women.  They are not without recourse however as there are many women within the lesbian community who are outwardly hostile to all men regardless of sexuality for this reason.

Then there's the 'G' community which despite being "Gay" a word which can apply to any homosexual regardless of gender, tries to claim the word for Gay Men alone.  Within that community there is further division between effeminate, often camp gay men, and butch gay men or as many choose to identify as "Masc" meaning masculine.  The hatred that exists between these factions of gay men is immense.  I have wrote about this before when Russell Tovey made his controversial comments.

All this addresses the LGT and + communities.  Then we come to the Bi community, one that is somewhat phantom in its existence within the larger LGBT community for many reasons.  First and foremost there exists a stigma and a stereotype within the LGBT community and beyond it that perceives bisexual men and women as being "on the road to gay" or "have not made their mind up yet" both of which are incredibly diminutive.  I am a gay man and I know what I am because I know who and what I am attracted to.  The idea that someone is incapable of knowing that is incredibly insulting it is as much of an insult as those that say to you when you first come out as gay "you haven't met the right woman yet" - fuck off.

The reason I wrote this post is not just to stand up for bisexual people and assert their sexuality should not be demeaned but to refute the idea that marriage changes your sexuality.  This is bullshit.  I have known bisexual men who have got married only to have themselves branded the sexuality that corresponds to their spouse - gay if they married a man and straight if they married a woman.  That's infuriating.  Their sexuality does not magically change.  They are still bisexual.

Many times I have seen people ask if someone I know or a celebrity is gay only to have "nah he married a woman" as the response to say "he's straight" and end speculation.  The fact they got married does not determine their sexuality.  Who they married does not determine their sexuality.