Be direct!

There's a question I hate, and it's often asked in situations where its aim isn't to see your creativity, it is simply to try and degrade you.  The question is "If you could live your life over, what would you change or do differently?" - the reason I see this as a question that attempts to degrade you is because for one it's not a question you can give a conclusive answer to if you did take it at face value.  There are very few decisions in life we can make at the time for which we will know the outcomes and consequences of them in advance.  So by that logic, any answer you give on how you would change your life is only indicative of what you think happens when a specific choice is made.

The reason I see it as a misleading question, one that doesn't actually ask you to be creative but under the surface seeks the answer to a different question, is the simple conclusion that if you would change anything, it would be because you weren't content with the outcome of that decision.  In other words, the question is really asking you is: "what mistakes did you make in your life and how could you have prevented them?"

I don't have a problem with the latter question if it is put to you directly.  If there is openness and honesty about the fact that they want to know what mistakes you made, that you recognise in hindsight as a mistake, and that you know now how to prevent, then I would happily answer it.  It's the fact that an underhand approach is being used which to me is dishonest, and anything but open.  It's the fact that they want information from you that they don't believe you realise you are giving.  To me that represents a level of scrutiny that is not warranted. 

The question is asked in many different scenarios.  Interviews for jobs are perhaps the most common but this question often arises in a social context, particularly with people you're only getting to know.  I still find this disconcerting even in these scenarios because by my reasoning if you want to ask a question that you can't ask directly then you probably shouldn't ask that question.  You're not in that place with that person yet.  You haven't earned the trust or the respect to be able to ask that question and be given an honest answer.  Trying to deduce information from people by asking questions that beat around the bush and try to piece together a larger picture is not something I find amusing.

I realise some people will think this post is about them.  It's not.  I'll answer one simple question you're probably afraid to ask directly - "Is this post about me?" - the answer is "No.  If it was I would have spoken to you about it"

The same goes for anyone reading my tweets, if you think they're about you they aren't.  If you know they are about you then they are.  So unless you know for certain, don't make assumptions.  I vent on twitter about a lot of people and a lot of things in life.  Scroll back through my profile to before you met me and you'll see many more in the same vein.