Expectations

In life there are many expectations of us that we encounter.  Perhaps the first place we encounter these expectations when younger is through our friends and family.  Our friends have expectations of what we should do and say and we call that peer pressure.  Our families have expectations of us that we experience as we grow and we tend to refer to that as they way in which people were raised.  As we grow older our exposure to the establishment and to various institutions increases and we become more aware of the expectations that society as a whole place upon us.

If you are an LGBT person I would argue that your exposure to society's expectations happens at a much younger age than that of our straight friends.  Whilst straight people for instance will grow up in a society where their sexuality is considered the default, it is much more likely that the majority of straight people will have their first kiss, first crush, first boyfriend or girlfriend etc long before their family and society expects it of them.  For LGBT people in contrast you are much more likely to be exposed to the reality that other people will react negatively to your first experiences of these events, again primarily through peer pressure at first and then through society's expectations as a whole later in life.  There are two main paths this can take unless you find a supportive atmosphere where there is no issue with your sexuality.  Those two paths are either to be led into experiencing these events under a veil of secrecy which inherently breeds a feeling of shame which arguably may cause problems later in life in terms of mental health and well being.  The other path is to experience these events in the open in an act of rebellion and defiance which in itself can also cause negative effects when you are entrenched in the idea that love is an act of rebellion.

Through it all one question underpins everything we experience and it is quite simply "Why?" - three little letters that throw open a debate that spans generations, borders, culture, race, religion, politics... the list goes on.  Ultimately you can boil this down to one simple answer to that question however and that is "Because we believe we should." - whatever the answer that you would pose to the question of why, it is a distraction.  It is not an answer in and of itself to the question.  Any other answer than this is simply to explain who, what, where, and when, we came to believe that we should.  The answer ultimately is simply that we believe we should.  Whatever answer you gave is the answer you gave because it is what you believe that answer is, when in reality, the answer you give is your perception of society and what you believe it expects of you.

I know you may argue with me on this but allow me to defend my reasoning for saying this.  The main reason I say this is the reason above all else is one simple fact.  Society does not exist.  Now I know many will argue with me on that and point to various things but I would ask in return to show me society itself.  Not something that came about as a result of the perception of society, like religion or politics or government etc, but society itself.  "Society" is an abstract concept.  It is in reality a term we use to refer to a collection of ideas and what we choose to include in that collection comes down to our collective psyche and what we perceive together - and politics and religion in particular highlight the fact that we don't have to agree on those for them to be included.  I would even go so far as to say we are much more likely to include the things we don't agree with in the definition of society than the things we do agree with.  Therein lies the problem with using society as a means for progress - it is heavily skewed towards controversy and contempt.

Think about the word society and what you associate with it.  Of all the things that come to mind, how many are positive and how many are negative.  Do you believe society is fluid or is it something that is fixed?  Is it the way the world is in reality, or is it the way the world is expected to be?  Ultimately the question you should dwell on most is that of the expectations of others, just as we have discussed the expectations of society, the same question of the expectations others have for us and all that it entails applies - "Why?"

No comments:

Post a Comment

All comments are moderated before they are published. If you want your comment to remain private please state that clearly.