Happy Love Day

The Late Great Whitney Houston once sang a song originally written by Linda Creed that said, "learning to love yourself, it is the greatest love of all".  Today is Valentine's Day, and today more than any other day of the year, society values our worth based on whether or not we have found someone else to share our life with.  Whilst this is a sentiment that is something of beauty to those who are in love with someone else, for those who are not, it can evoke great feelings of bitterness.  The belief that you are less than because you are not in love with someone else coupled with the omnipresence of the message can cause great sadness and even anger.

Your self worth is not defined by anything that anyone thinks, the only person who gets to decide that is you.  It can be easy in life, not just today but every day, to allow others to define our lives.  We each have one life to live, our own, and only we can live it, no-one can live it for us, so no-one has the right to judge it.

Whether you are single or in a relationship or however you wish to define your status, the importance of loving yourself is something that should never be forgotten.  There is a difference between being alone and being lonely, the former is a statement, the latter is a sentiment.  One does not imply the other.  Another song that means a lot to me is Dark Blue by Jack's Mannequin, which has the lyric, "if you've ever been alone in a crowded room, you'll know" - this is something I have experienced many times in life and it has made me realise more than anything else that no matter how close we get to another person, no matter how deep in love we may be, we are still two separate people, trapped in our bodies.  You can be surrounded by people whether they be strangers or people you love who all love you, and still feel incredibly alone.

The idea of loving yourself is something that not many people in life take seriously.  Most will laugh when you suggest the concept, or make jokes about masturbation.  The idea however is a serious one.  It is something that society lacks to such an extent that we've even turned it into an insult "oh he loves himself that one" as something with great negative connotations.  Why?  Perhaps the answer is quite simply that people in life don't like it when you can do something they cannot.  Things that are elusive or hard to attain, people have a demand to be placated with the belief that you worked hard to get it, and if you didn't then they react with petulance.  Whatever it may be, the easiest example to give is money, if people think you came into it without a lifetime of toil they see you automatically as spoiled and rottenous.  There is the demand to be placated with the belief that you worked hard and that you endured all manner of humiliation and turmoil to get to that place.

Today should be a celebration of love, in all forms.  Whoever or whatever we love in whatever way whether it is romantic or platonic or familial, whatever the definition.  Today is seen as exclusionary to all forms of love except romantic for the plain and simple reason that it's not profitable and can't be marketed as anything else.  Despite the fact other countries like China actually have a Singles Day which is the antithesis of the western notion of Valentine's Day.  We still seem reluctant to diversify the definition.  That does make me wonder how many more years it will endure.  For even those I know in relationships the concept has become tired to them, a novelty that is really does wear off.  There is a lot to be said of the question of how you are treated the other 364 days of the year, but I'll leave that for now, this post has already spiralled down into negativity despite the fact it was intended to stay positive.