Feeling Intimidated

A while ago I was sent an article that I found quite interesting entitled "7 Signs Your Personality Is Intimidating Others" the thing I found most interesting about this is the question of whether or not that is a good or bad thing.  According to the article, I have 6 of the 7 signs.  I read people, I am often blunt, I am often in the minority, I'm generally not jealous, I like new opportunities, and I find it hard to tolerate stupid people.  The only sign I didn't conform to is when it comes to excuses, I do actually make excuses and I do accept them from others when I deem them valid so I'm 6 for 7.

I've written before of how things like this are ultimately a matter of perception.  In this case I would argue there are legitimate reasons why people would demonstrate these behaviours and personality traits without being intimidating at all, even those who demonstrate all 7 mentioned.

The problem with these types of articles is that they are open to interpretation but there will be people who accept them as fact.  In other words you're meant to take it with a pinch of salt and accept it only as something to contemplate, not something to be conclusive.  That's not the way many people will take the content however, there will be those who want to know the answer to the question and will use that guide to form a conclusion rather than accepting further study and exploration is needed before you can draw a conclusion.

I accept at times I can be intimidating but not for any of the reasons listed in the article.  For me personally one of the most intimidating parts of my personality isn't a trait defined by personality at all - my intelligence.  Perhaps this is better phrased in saying that my personality demonstrates the fact there is a higher intelligence behind it than you are probably used to engaging with.

I understand some people will read this and view me as arrogant or condescending for stating this.  There's no way to really convey the sentiment at play here without coming off as such but I assure you it's not intended.  When I grew up I was top of my class in most subjects or near the top.  In my school years I had the highest grades I could get or near the highest.  In my University years I got so bored with education that I got lost in the social side of life because I did not feel any challenge.  I have been tested by Mensa the High IQ society and my result is in the top 1 percentile. 

Do I know everything?  No, I don't. 

Do I make mistakes?  Yes, I do.

Do I make errors that are obvious?  Yes, I do.

Do people expect someone with a High IQ to answer the way I have, in general, no they don't.  There is an expectation that you know everything, about everything.  That was an aspiration as a child, but I quickly realised that wasn't possible, so I settled for knowing as much as I could about the things that interest me.  That leads me to possessing answers to incredibly complex questions in fields that I enjoy exploring, and it leads me to a failure to answer even simple questions about fields of which I have no interest whatsoever or have not explored.

I try to adapt myself to my surroundings, and to the people I engage with.  It's not possible to please everyone however and you shouldn't try to - if you do you are in for a lifetime of disappointment.  The intimidating aspect of my personality shines through, or rather, looms like a dark cloud, over the interactions I have with others when they are perceived by those to whom I haven't catered my language and my presence.  To give an example when discussing programming I get very technical about the subject matter with people I perceive to have a sufficient understanding of it to be able to engage on that level.  When perceived by people who know nothing about programming, this becomes quite intimidating as they realise there is a deeper level of thought going on in my head than the language I use with them day to day would intimate.

Most people suffer from the same problem to varying extents.  There is always something that people have a passion for, or that they know quite a bit about.  They just never get the opportunity to let that show and let it shine through.  This can be described as hidden talent, but it goes beyond our skills and abilities and penetrates the mind itself to the very foundation of thought and the process that underpins it.  In other words, don't rely solely on someone's actions to give you an impression of what is going on inside their head, there is depth you can't imagine within everyone's mind, you just need to find an environment where you can dive in to be able to explore that depth and appreciate it fully.