What do you want to change?

We can convince ourselves of anything if we allow ourselves to do so.  We accept as true that which doesn't pose a threat to who and what we are.  As long as what we want to believe doesn't threaten that perception, we will find a way to convince ourselves that it is true, even if all evidence points to the contrary.  Nowhere is this more evident than when we ask ourselves the question "Can I do that?" and convince ourselves that the answer is no.

Admitting defeat without even trying is an act that is rooted in the comfort of the familiar.  We may aspire to great wealth and success, but to pursue those aspirations we have to make changes which will jeopardize everything about the life we already know.  Whether we are content or not with the life we already know, there is a safety and a security in the familiarity of it.  Even when what we already know is destructive, dangerous, and poses a threat to our very existence, we embrace it because it is what we know, what we have always known, and what we know how to deal with.

There is an aversion to learning how to live our lives again.  We often don't take these steps until we are forced into them, and even then we resist it as much as we can.  There's a lot that we can change that we aren't willing to accept that we can change.  One of the reasons for this is because accepting these things as being something within our control is to take responsibility for the pain and suffering and the struggle that we have endured because of them.  We don't want to take that responsibility because we want to be able to place the onus on someone or something else.

There are legitimate reasons why we can't always change certain aspects of our lives.  Obligations can limit what we can do without causing a lot of upset, emotionally, physically, mentally, financially, and many other ways.  This does not however change the fact that the choice remains.  The apparent ease or difficulty of making a choice does not take away the fact that it is a choice.  It can be the hardest choice in the world to make and the options you have can lead to the toughest trials and tribulations any human can ever face, but that still doesn't change the fact that it is a choice.

Admitting to ourselves what we have the power to change can be scary, but this process can be made simpler by coming to the realisation that the past cannot be changed, and that admitting we have the power to change the future and the power to change our lives does not have to change the past we endured.  Whether or not you ever perceived it as a choice before is irrelevant to the present.  You live in the present you do not live in the past, the choice exists only in the moment, you can not change the past.

The best place to start is to first ask yourself what would you want to change if you could, and then start to identify ways in which you could accommodate that change first of all, then look at the ways you can make a conscious effort to pursue that change.  It may take time, and you should expect to be patient when making some of those changes but you should not let the length of time you would have to wait be a determining factor in whether or not you even try.  The only true failure is the failure to try.