Is it personal?

There have been a few posts I have written on this blog about topics that were inspired by or centred around a specific person and their actions.  It's very rare that I will name the person involved, usually out of respect for their privacy, but even when it is someone in the public eye or someone very well known, I still prefer not to name them.  Legal reasons aside, slander and libel etc, there is often a case where the actions or behaviour that I refer to isn't speculative but is rather well documented so within the law you can still say everything you want to in regard to the topic at hand.  Still of all there is a discretion in the practice of not naming those people in particular.

We often say "it's not personal" and follow it up with an addendum such as "it's business" or "it's politics" or whatever else you want to add.  The truth however is that everything we do, is done as an individual, even when we work as part of a collective, we still act as an individual.  There are psychological implications with regards to responsibility and in particular collective responsibility or deferred responsibility that emerge when we are part of a collective or a chain of command, in those situations we consider whoever we work with or for, to be responsible for our actions but again there is the argument to be made that there always remains a choice no matter how difficult that choice may be to make, it remains a choice.  The only situations where this does not truly apply are those where we are forced into behaving in a particular way, either physically or through coercion and manipulation.  Therein lies the fine line between complacency and compliance.  The former is to act under your own agency despite your desires not to do so.  The latter is to act under the agency of another.

When it comes to most topics I discuss on this blog, the view point I express is either my own, or an attempt to play Devil's Advocate in contemplation of alternative view points I don't agree with myself.  It's therefore not a reliable measure to use the opinions and view points expressed here as a definitive guide to my thought processes.  Having said all of that, everything I write here is written because I choose to write it.  There is no-one forcing me to write any of this and as such the only responsibility for the content I publish lies with me.  Criticism in that respect of anything written here is ultimately a criticism of me personally as this work is an extension of me.

There are those who like to perpetuate the separation of business and personal life, but I don't accept that separation.  If you act in a given way in business, I conclude that behaviour is also behaviour you are capable of directing towards people in your personal life, you just choose not to do so.  A person who is ruthless in business, is a ruthless person - period.  Whether they choose to act in such a way in their personal life is irrelevant.  There is a point here that I have chosen to live by when it comes to my assessment of other people - the way someone treats other people is the way they will eventually treat you.  If someone acts in an unreasonable way towards others, no matter who they are, you should take that as an indication that they will act in that way towards you eventually when you no longer give them whatever is cause for them not to do so right now - and in many cases even when you do keep giving them what they want, they still end up treating you that way in the end.

When it comes to other people who I do not name on this blog, I make that choice because I don't believe in directing criticism at an individual unless they have behaved in a way that is totally reckless and irresponsible.  There are few people I would therefore consider to have crossed that line.  Behaviours are often reinforced by our environment and it is often the case that those who behave in a certain way, do so because they have never been told they shouldn't or they have been in an environment that whilst this sentiment is expressed, there is no reprehension for actually crossing that line.

If you take the law for example, almost everyone reading this blog would agree the law is there to be followed almost all the time, there are situations you can foresee where you would bend the law or even break it entirely.  This admission is an acknowledgement that the law, as much as social convention, is there as a guide.  With law itself there are bodies intended to enforce it, and there are punishments that can be given if you are charged for breaking it.  A law in and of itself does not stop you from breaking it.  A law can't control your behaviour, or the way you think.  How you act and how you behave is controlled by you and in most cases you alone.  The complacency therefore comes when you act in a given way and evade the punishment that such behaviour would warrant.  This is the same for social convention.  The environment we find ourselves within, will ultimately influence our perception of social convention much more than what we know of society's expectations as a whole.  If you are surrounded by people who show no regard for certain social conventions whatsoever, then you are likely to develop the same mentality too.  Granted this is not always the case, there is a question of willpower and conformity here, but in the majority of cases, people will conform.

I don't make excuses for people and the way they behave, I do however observe.  I don't pass judgement on people until they give me a reason to judge them.  I consider myself to have an open mind, but my beliefs and my experience is engrained at this point.  I have seen enough and experienced enough of the world and what it has to offer to be able to form realistic expectations of how it will react, not just how it is supposed to react, but how it will actually react.  For me to change my point of view it would take more than just logic, reason, and arguments to make me change my point of view.  At least when it comes to experience that is.  If I have experienced to the contrary, then it will take experiences to change my point of view.  When it comes to criticizing other people and their behaviour and their actions, the only way I am going to change my point of view of those people is to see behaviour and actions that create a new experience to prove that this time is different, that they are either the exception or a demonstration that the world has changed and moved on.  It is for that reason, and the fact that I cannot personally experience most of these peoples' behaviours first hand, that I choose not to pick out individuals, but rather, focus on the behaviour and the action in itself and to make comment based on my experience and my own observations of the world.