CBT: Emotional Contradiction

This post is a continuation of my exploration of Cognitive Behavioural Therapy [CBT] and documenting my experience of it.  Each post has 'CBT' in the title so you can use the search feature on this blog to easily find all posts relating to the topic.

I have already discussed Emotional Mapping, what it is, and how to use it.  There is another technique that is related to this idea of manipulating your emotions rather than letting your emotions manipulate you and that is the concept of Emotional Contradiction.  The name in itself gives you an idea of what it involves but nonetheless I will structure this post in a similar way to the last, first discussing the theory and how to apply it and then relating my experience of the technique and my conclusions.

When an emotion takes hold, it can be hard to shake it, I mentioned before how emotions can become amplified, the more we focus on them the stronger they grow until they reach a point where they overwhelm us.  This amplification occurs because in most cases when an emotion is experienced it triggers physical responses and these in turn trigger neurological responses which are then fed back into our thought process and depending on our ability or inability to see those emotions in context a feedback loop can occur.  If the feedback loop occurs then the emotion grows in intensity until it overwhelms us - this doesn't happen with every emotion because in most cases we are able to see the context in which those emotions are felt.  When this feedback loop does occur however is a spiralling that takes your emotion to an extreme.  Emotional contradiction aims to correct the emotional state by using physical behaviours that contradict that state in an effort to disrupt the feedback loop and give you the opportunity to use conscious effort to return to a more stable emotional state.

Let's take a breakup as an example as that is something most people will be able to relate to at some point.  When you are in a relationship with someone or when you develop a deep rooted emotional connection to someone, they become associated with a range of positive emotions, happiness, joy, anticipation, hope, among others.  When a breakup or a loss occurs it's natural to feel as though those emotions are also lost with them, and that they won't be felt again or that you are incapable of feeling those emotions without them.  In this situation if you feel nervous or anxious, then it is a natural response to want to shut down and shift focus away from everything else and place it on this feeling of loss.  In this situation the feedback loop kicks in, the emotion gets amplified, and it will usually proceed to the point of overwhelming you and causing you to feel a sense of loss that feels greater than anything you have ever felt before.

What is lacking in this moment is once again the idea of context.  In this heightened emotional state you won't respond to logic and reason, it's highly unlikely that you will "talk yourself out of it" or that you will be able to convince yourself that these emotions aren't "correct" or the "right" response to the situation.  This is because emotion and logic don't like each other, they rarely overlap, and even when they do they simply cross paths before diverging again.  In these situations, the Physical responses then intensify as the threat or perceived threat increases.  It might sound odd to think of this situation as a "threat" but ultimately that is what is perceived in this state, your potential positive emotional state is threatened, with the trigger event being the aggressor, the shut down is a defence mechanism, by devoting all focus to the trigger your emotional state is shifting in an effort to attack it in defence but the failure here is that we tackle these emotional threats with the same emotion in kind - in this case the sense of loss is being battled with an even greater sense of loss, just as physical aggression is met with greater physical aggression in response, anger is met with rage, and so on.

In order to tackle this you need to encourage physical behaviours that contradict your emotional state.  To do this you need to recognise the emotion you feel, in this case there is a sense of loss, sadness, and a sense of hopelessness.  The counter balance emotions to each of these would be belonging, happiness, and hope.  The first, the sense of belonging can either be the sense of feeling like you belong, or feeling as if something belongs to you, the sense of happiness is pretty straight forward, and the sense of hope is also straight forward in concept.  Once you have identified the counter balance emotions then you need to enact physical behaviours that you normally associate with these emotions.  Think about each of those emotions and think of physical activities or physical states that you associate with them, what you would normally be doing when you feel those emotions, where you would normally be, any deviation from your current physical state.  Once you have identified those physical behaviours and physical states then you need to enact them. 

This can sound very strange, to think that feeling sad because of loss can be counter balanced by smiling.  It can feel disingenuous, and it can feel like you are pursuing that "fake it until you make it" mantra, but the goal here is not to achieve happiness from smiling until you feel happy - that's inane, and actually quite psychotic if you were to attempt to do that.  The goal is simply to disrupt the feedback loop, to stop yourself spiralling long enough to steady yourself.  Your goal isn't to improve your mental state through these actions but to simply slow and hopefully stop the spiralling by cutting off the physical stimuli that are reinforcing the undesirable state of mind that has taken hold.

Psychopathy, or Sociopathy or to use the preferred term by medical professionals, Antisocial Personality Disorder are a pair of mental disorders that although similar have some distinctions nevertheless they are both marked by an emotional disconnect that limits or completely prevents feelings of empathy amongst other emotions.  In individuals with disorders such as these the outward expressed emotions are insincere and disingenuous, exhibited out of expectation and observation rather than being a reflection of an emotional state.  I'm wary of advocating this technique for this reason, I have never been a fan of "fake it until you make it" and I have never been a proponent of wearing masks and false faces, if I am upset I will look upset I'm not going to smile and pretend to be happy when I am not.  Having said that I do recognise the theory in play here and on that level my only inclination is to say "Needs must as the Devil drives" whilst reiterating a point I made in a previous post that CBT is intended as a short term solution, a bridge to an alternate state of mind, not a long term solution, to that end I can't emphasise enough that I don't advocate using this strategy in a general sense even if it does prove effective I think it would lead to other problems in the long run.

You can probably guess that I had limited success with this technique, it does work to an extent but my prevailing mental state and my ingrained nature is too much for me to overcome to get any real traction out of this technique, I just can't grin and bear it, I can't pretend to be happy when I am not, even if I know it's only for a very short time.  This proved to be the least helpful technique for me personally that I was introduced to throughout this process.