Music Monday #51: Rainbow by Kesha

Returning one last time to Kesha, the last album of hers I want to include on this list is 'Rainbow' released in 2017 this album goes with the same disclaimer as before, I don't advocate buying it because of the business links that still exist attached to it.  Beyond the politics however the fact that Kesha wrote or co-wrote every track bar 2 means the message and meaning of each track can be taken at face value.  Given all she went through, as an artist you express yourself through your art, so that's the best place to start to gain an insight into their psyche and the fact the very first track on the album is called 'Bastards' I think sums up pointedly how Kesha felt.

The first single released from this album was 'Praying' which opens with the lyrics "Well, you almost had me fooled, Told me that I was nothing without you, Oh, but after everything you've done, I can thank you for how strong I have become" these are referencing all she has been through, how fucked up the whole journey has been but by virtue of the fact she is still alive and now stronger than ever she's basically saying "Fuck you" and trying to move on.  The lyrics continue "’Cause you brought the flames and you put me through hell, I had to learn how to fight for myself, And we both know all the truth I could tell, I'll just say this is I wish you farewell" these lyrics speak of the baptism of fire that anoints true warriors, those that aren't consumed by the flames emerge from them reborn.  Praying is about refusing to be a victim, it is about empowerment, and about recognising how pitiful those people are who have to resort to the oppression of others to get what they want. 

My favourite track on this album continues this narrative in 'Learn To Let Go' which opens with "Been a prisoner of the past, Had a bitterness when I looked back, Was telling everyone it's not that bad, ’Til all my shit hit the fan" which speaks about the prison like mentality that we adapt when we give power to the events in our past, binding ourselves to the past refusing to see the reality that we live in the present, we have a future, and it's up to us where we go from here.  The lyrics continue with the message "I know I'm always like, Telling everybody you don't gotta be a victim, Life ain’t always fair, but hell is living in resentment, Choose redemption, your happy ending's up to you" a verse about accepting you are in control of your fate and you can move on, this verse speaks to the personal growth Kesha has achieved as she moves on with her life.  The chorus is the most emphatic part of this whole song "I think it's time to practice what I preach, Exorcise the demons inside me, Whoa, gotta learn to let it go, The past can't haunt me if I don't let it, Live and learn and never forget it, Whoa, gotta learn to let it go" which speaks to the truth that in life we often know the answer and know what we should do because when other people present their problems to us we offer advice to them but that advice is rarely advice we take ourselves when we find ourselves in those situations.  This chorus is about recognising this wisdom that already exists within ourselves and applying it to our own lives as we would call on others to do.

Kesha's journey shares many parallels with my own and as I have touched on before I believe each of her albums can be taken in the context of the period of time in her life that they reflect.  Kesha was 30 at the time of Rainbow's release, the album recounts her 20s and looks back on her life with a new perspective and a new maturity.  Rainbow was the first album where Kesha dropped the Ke$ha moniker a decision she said she came to during her time in rehab.  The motivation behind the change was the desire to be truer to herself which throws into question how strongly she held the beliefs her music embodied earlier in her career.  Personally I choose to believe that her voice was true, in defence of a belief I have lived my life by, I have very few regrets in life because everything I did was done because of choices that I believed at the time were right, and that I made knowing only what I knew then.  I don't think it is fair to judge your past self by the knowledge you have now and by the experience you have now because if you had either of those back then you probably would have made different choices. 

I don't regret much in my life because I am who I am because of the journey that got me here and if I could give Kesha one piece of advice the same goes to everyone reading this it would simply be, to make peace with yourself and accept yourself you have to accept yourself not just as who you are here in this moment but who you were, and who you will become even if those versions of you may seem alien to you in this moment.  If I put myself in a room with myself from 10 years ago and myself from 10 years from now, I can guarantee within minutes there would be heated arguments about anything and everything you can think of, we grow as people and we evolve, we're always changing and that's okay.  You don't need to justify who you are to anyone, you are who you are, or in your own words, "We R Who We R" - that song you wrote for us in the LGBT community, find strength in your own words were others have.