Being a Prude by Profession

I am a slut, or rather I'm a retired slut as my sex life is non-existent right now due to everything else that's going on. If you've been following my recent posts you will know that I've been considering a career change for some time. Among the myriad of variables to factor into this decision, the social ramifications are something that I find fascinating, particularly how your choice of career can impact your sex life. In pursuit of information regarding this goal I've been researching what funding is available here in the UK to retrain. Beyond the degree apprenticeship programme which I previously mentioned I've been looking at studying at University full time and whether that is a viable route.

If you already have a degree in the UK you can't normally access student loans, those cover the cost of first degrees only, there are however some limited exceptions. Most of these exceptions are careers where there is a shortfall or the qualification also leads to a professional accreditation. Once again that moniker "professional" rears its head in the context of employment which irks me to no end. In this case however the definition of professional is defined simply as a job that requires registration and qualification in order to pursue. Among these include Architects, Dentists, Doctors, and Teachers. None of these professions interest me.

I did however have the thought of the social commitments you would have to make in pursuing one of these careers and the teaching profession in particular stood out. The question to put it bluntly, can you be a teacher and still be a slut? That question might piss a few people off but to refine it just a bit, when you're gay it's pretty much a necessity that you'll have to rely on apps, and dating websites, and various forms of social networking to meet people who have the potential to be more than just friends, and yes for hookups too. The idea of being open, direct, and public on these types of platforms and pursuing a profession like this doesn't seem possible.

I might be wrong, things might be different, but when I was in high school Google was still in its naissance, the most popular search engines were still MSN, Yahoo, and Lycos; yet despite this the kids in my class found out as much about the teachers we had as they could and gossiped to no end about them. Knowing this and mixing in the potential that Google enables I can't imagine being able to have any degree of public presence online, it seems like there's almost an expectation of privacy that goes along with these professions but that drifts too close to the idea of being closeted again.

This isn't something unique to the queer community either, if anyone in my class had found one of our teachers on a straight dating site when I was in high school I can't even begin to imagine the ridicule and harassment that would have followed - that's before you even mix in the colleagues reactions and the reactions of parents.

The internet makes up a pretty big part of my life, not least of all because I earn money through it selling the books I write, this and many other blogs that I have created served as creative outlets, and the various social networks I have used over the years have all been useful in their own way. I periodically purge content online and whilst I am confident there's nothing out there I wouldn't want people to see, I can't say that content is suitable for all ages. From the LGBT erotic fiction I published, to profiles I had on porn sites with images and videos that I uploaded - those weren't deleted for desire for privacy, the sites closed down and I never bothered uploading the content anywhere else.

I like having a separation of personal private life, and a professional life, that would continue, but I can't imagine having a profession that necessitates censorship in your personal private life, that seems like a lot to ask of a person for a job that they will spend 8 or 9 hours a day doing only to have the same restrictions in the job persist outside of those hours. You might not be working 24/7 but you're under those conditions 24/7 regardless and not being paid for it.

I know a few academics on social media but all of them as far as I am aware teach at University or College level and above where the students they teach are adults. The same expectation isn't placed on them as those who work with people who are under 18. I don't actually know anyone through social media - or my own life for that matter - that teaches at that level and I'm beginning to wonder if that's why?

The ramification for this though is the question of how you would even begin to date whilst working in a profession like this? Is every faceless profile on Grindr et al actually someone who is closeted socially or are they closeted professionally? Is their reluctance to share pictures due to their desire to hide their identity because they're afraid of being outed or are they working in professions like teaching afraid of being catfished by a student?

I know what some people will say, don't share anything explicit, don't sext someone you haven't met, and always meet in a public place and you'd be fine, but that advice can also apply for anyone that uses those apps and websites and that advice often fails for them even when there's no professional ramification. Further still sans professional restrictions for the justification of withholding some information, if you've ever tried to have a conversation with anyone on dating websites et al and aren't forthcoming the other person immediately mistrusts you. Many outright deny the option of getting to know each other before meeting citing time wasters as their reason.

I've written in the past about the divide in the gay community when it comes to having your cake and eating it too where one half of the community wants sex to potentially lead to a relationship and the other wants a friendship that leads to a relationship with sex, and how they both ultimately want the same thing they just disagree on their priorities. The question is if you sit firmly in the camp of sex first, relationship second, can you force yourself into the other camp out of necessity? How do you adopt a personality that isn't your own, and become a prude by profession?

Ultimately the whole argument is moot I wouldn't want to be a teacher anyway not because of anything outlined here but for the simple reason that I don't think they're paid enough for what the job entails before you factor in anything outside of the job itself. Still the question is interesting, how much of your personal life should you be expected to sacrifice for a job?