Underthinking

Not to be one to use derogatory language but to quote a friend "Stupid people learn languages quicker than smart people because they aren't afraid to use the language, smart people are afraid of getting it wrong" - I have read studies that used less derisive language to make the same claim and it has made me reflect on some of the things I have achieved in my life in an attempt to try and identify the mindset I occupied when I did them.

I have written and published multiple books, some are works of fiction, some are semi-fictional loosely based on true stories, others are instructional based entirely on fact as they are essentially textbooks, and to date just one is an actual textbook that teaches people how to program in Java. When I look back on the fact that I ever managed to finish any of these projects something stands out, that is the fact they were all projects that I started spontaneously.

In some cases that initial spark of creativity and production gave way to that state of flow where I managed to maintain that productivity. I have written about creative waves in the past and how the desire to ride those waves often leads to a flood of creative output followed soon after by burnout. Right now I have the desire to create but I don't have the motivation, the inspiration, or the determination to see anything through to its end.

I know that my problem isn't a lack of ideas, it's the fact that I am over-thinking everything. The ideas that I have and my thoughts on how to implement them are drowned out by the fear of imperfection. In some ways that is reinforced by arrogance, stemming from the idea that you should already possess everything you need to know before you begin - which is futile when you break it down as a concept because the learning process is part of the creative process, you're not waiting to begin, you've already begun, you're just stumbling.

Your life is a journey, every experience that you have had up until this point has contributed to that journey and brought you to the place and the person you are today - all of this is part of the creative process. Art is not independent, it is an extension of the artist, it is dependent upon you. Recognising this is an important part of unleashing your creativity because it makes you realise not one single moment of your life has been wasted, every moment shaped you, and through your creativity what you create is the result of every moment, everything was necessary to get you to this point - or if you're of a spiritual bent, everything that has happened thus far happened exactly the way it had to; as someone who has endured trauma, I openly admit that's a hard pill to swallow, but at the same time even the most horrific things that I have endured taught me something, about myself or about others, or about the world.

Your problem and mine, is not a lack of ideation, it's the reluctance to polish a turd as we see it, the self-critical assertion paradoxically that we already know everything we need to know but still believe it's not the right time to try, but the only true failure is the failure to try, and if we really do know everything we need to know then failure shouldn't even be an option.